Keep it Simple

A few days ago, Nate and I were discussing our understanding of God. Ya, you read that right. We’re not hot mess hillbillies all the time. Anyway, I was telling Nate how in a lot of ways my understanding of God and his will has come almost 360 degrees.  As I tried to learn more about God and the Bible and the church, and as I accumulated more facts and more viewpoints and more arguments, I began to lose the essence that is God. Now, even though I still have that knowledge and those secondary sources, I retreat back into the simplest understanding of God.

Nate agreed with me and said, “I really think God is best understood by children.” As we kept talking, I couldn’t help but agree. Nate pointed out that children don’t struggle with things like “all powerful” or “all loving.” It’s the adults who push back, with “Then why did this happen?” or “But you don’t know my past.” God, while being all-powerful, all-loving, all-merciful… is also incredibly all-simple. As adults, we live in the age of asterisks. The website shouts “FREE!*” and then tiny print at the bottom confirms all of your fears, that it is not even close to free. When we’re conditioned to search out the “buts,” an asterisk-free God is sometimes hard for us to fathom.

Along those lines, I can be really hard on people who I say are “Team Satan.” Every Christian knows a few “Team Satan” cheerleaders – not that they support Satan, but just that they give him credit for every one of life’s hangnails. I give these people a bad rap because I really feel like this mentality often dismisses accountability, both for us and for others. I also think that giving Satan more credit than he deserves is a dangerous path to go down. But last night, I found comfort in temporarily joining the ranks of Team Satan.

Last night, life hit me like a sack of bricks. And please don’t think I’m whining because I am truly, truly blessed. But making decisions that seem to defy this world’s logic, even when I know that it’s God’s will, has never been my strong suit. I like to make spreadsheets that show in black and white that I am making good decisions. But as far as I know, they don’t have a program like that yet that factors in spiritual callings. As I ran around the house trying to be as productive as possible, I heard doubts, put there by myself and others, echoing in my head.

I heard the voice of someone who makes more money than me saying, “Wow, I wish we could afford to be a one-income family. Maybe someday we’ll make enough money to do that.”

I heard the voice of well-meaning people asking about our move to Bloomington, “So are you moving for… your job? Or… Nate’s job?” And me stammering out a half-baked answer like I’d never spoken before, because I apparently still can't articulate God's calling in our lives.

I questioned myself, “What if you didn’t budget this right? What if you don’t have enough money to live off your savings for the next couple months?”

The doubts went even further beyond that, and I fell asleep sobbing. This morning I woke up with a simple thought: those thoughts weren’t from God, they were from Satan. Yes, I woke up a member of Team Satan, and honestly, that was the one thought that made me feel better. It was the simplest understanding. Until there is Excel: Spiritual Guidance edition, that can factor God’s will into my pivot tables, I have to be able to keep it simple. God is good. He encourages and provides. Anything that doesn’t do that, is NOT from God.

So as you live, live simply. Our God is complex, but not complex to understand. He will provide, and there’s no asterisk after that.