It kind of made me think that maybe picking a gym is kind of like picking a church, in a way. But then, as I thought about it more, I realized that either a.) that’s a bad analogy or b.) that is a good analogy and it shouldn’t be. I offer up a parable:
You decide that maybe it’s time for a life change, so you start thinking about joining a gym. Maybe you visit one or a few or lots. You’re really serious about this, so you even meet the owners.
One gym clearly stands out. The owner is EXCITED about fitness and tells you that his gym exists for people that don’t even know the workouts their missing out on yet. He says he wants to do everything to help people start new health routines, even if they’ve failed before or never even gone to the gym before. You’re super excited, because THAT IS YOU! You immediately sign up.
Things are going great. There are trainers that help you, you love the equipment that is available, and you sign up for a bunch of classes that look fun. After a few months of loving your gym, making awesome gains to your personal fitness, and really feeling like it’s home, some troubling things start happening.
First, you show up one day and there is a sign that Jazzercise has been replaced with Zumba. You notice the gym owner walking by, so you innocently ask, “Why aren’t we going to have Jazzercise anymore? That’s my favorite class.”
To your annoyance, he doesn’t even hide his excitement. “Did you know that 25% more people will be willing to come improve their physical wellness if we offer Zumba!?”
That’s not the only problem though. You’ve noticed that your fellow gym goers are getting more and more… well… fat. They don’t look like gym goers, and sure, you were a little pudgy when you started, but surely these new people are not the face of what your gym wants to be. You bring this up with the gym owner, as delicately as possible.
A little wearily, the owner acknowledges your concern, and suggests maybe you could help with some new member classes that teach some nutrition facts and quick tips for starting a work out routine, now that you’re really getting in the groove of your own workouts. You decline though, of course, because you’re extremely busy, and with the new people it’s becoming harder and harder to find the trainers at the gym. You’re not sure if there are actually fewer, or if they’re just always busy with new people.
One day you walk in, and the usual radio station isn’t playing. It’s a new station. And you hate it. Fed up, you try to find the gym owner. But he’s nowhere. You even call his cell phone, but he’s not available. Unsure where he is and frustrated by your unmet needs, you cancel your membership… and leave.
Now, let’s change a few words around:
You decide that maybe it’s time for a life change, so you start thinking about joining a church. Maybe you visit one or a few or lots. You’re really serious about this, so you even meet the pastors.
One church clearly stands out. The owner is EXCITED about faith and tells you that his church exists for people that don’t even know the relationship with God their missing out on yet. He says he wants to do everything to help people start new relationships with Christ, even if they’ve failed before or never even gone to church before. You’re super excited, because THAT IS YOU! You immediately sign up.
Things are going great. There are pastors and volunteers that help you, you love the Sunday service that is available, and you sign up for a bunch of classes that look fun. After a few months of loving your church, making awesome gains to your spiritual life, and really feeling like it’s home, some troubling things start happening.
First, you show up one day and there is a sign that your life group has been replaced with a different life group topic. You notice the pastor walking by, so you innocently ask, “Why aren’t we going to have my current life group anymore? That’s my favorite class.”
To your annoyance, he doesn’t even hide his excitement. “Did you know that 25% more people will be willing to come learn about Jesus if we offer this new group!?”
That’s not the only problem though. You’ve noticed that your fellow gym goers are getting more and more… well… questionable. They don’t look like church goers, and sure, you were living a life with some sin issues when you started, but surely these new people are not the face of what your church wants to be. You bring this up with the pastor, as delicately as possible.
A little wearily, the pastor acknowledges your concern, and suggests maybe you could help with some new member classes that teach some Biblical basics and quick tips for starting a life in Christ, now that you’re really getting in the groove of your own spiritual growth. You decline though, of course, because you’re extremely busy, and with the new people it’s becoming harder and harder to find the volunteers and leaders at the church to help you. You’re not sure if there are actually fewer, or if they’re just always busy with new people.
One day you walk in, and the usual worship music isn’t playing. It’s a new band. And you hate it. Fed up, you try to find the pastor. But he’s nowhere. You even call his cell phone, but he’s not available. Unsure where he is and frustrated by your unmet needs, you cancel your membership… and leave.
So, I’m a little worried that this is a good analogy. But, there are several important reasons why it shouldn’t be… why it CAN’T be.
1.) Babies get fed, adults feed themselves.
Before you get defensive, I 100% own this as my biggest spiritual problem. And I’m improving now, but only because s*** got real for me several times (pardon my French). I mean, I’ve been ANGRY at different points over the last few years, because sometimes being involved in a church isn’t easy. I was spoiled by a loooong, slooooow journey to where I am now, with a TON of AMAZING Christians to help me, drag me, feed me, and basically do 70% of my Christian duties for me.
So then when I found myself serving more than I was being served, giving more than I was being given, praying more for others than I was being prayed for… It seemed like perhaps I was being cosmically cheated in some form. As the long-time pew-sitters like to say, “I’m not being fed.” That phrase needs to die in a deep, dark hole.
Can you imagine if Nate and I went to a restaurant with Blakely and halfway through the meal I just started sobbing and said, “I’ve spent this whole meal helping Blakely eat, and making sure she’s taken care of, but there’s no one to feed me!”
Uh, that would be pretty messed up. We are adults. We feed ourselves. And if we go hungry, we have to own that too. The bright side of feeding little ones? Or new Christians? They learn quickly. They start helping feed too.
2.) Church “membership” is a phrase we should outlaw
When you become really involved with a church, many churches have a “membership process,” that might involved a study or a written agreement or something else. But I hate the word membership. Because it brings us right back to the gym scenario.
Membership = privileges. Being deeply involved in a church or any organization that helps bring people closer to God is definitely a privilege, but not the kind where you get to pull “members only” rank.
Organizations with members typically exist to serve their members, and that should not and cannot be the purpose of any church.
3.) What about the people who need Zumba?
Referencing the gym example, what about the people who need Zumba? Why should the long-time Jazzercisers preferences trump what could result in a new fitness/faith journey for someone else?
The church exists for people who aren’t there yet. People who don’t know Jesus… need Jesus. As Barney Stinson from HIMYM would say, “New is always better.” Really though. If we put our preferences above the needs of people who don’t know Jesus, then we can’t call ourselves Christians. And that’s harsh, but it’s the fact.
So quit your gym if it’s not meeting your needs. But think twice before quitting your church for the same reasons.
