I'm so old

Some days, I feel really old. And I'm only 23. That's not old. But that's my number age. You know that awful show where they make ugly, frumpy-dressed people stand in a glass box and people say how old they look? And it's a 30-year old and everyone is like, "I'd say at least 47..." and then they take them out of the box, tell them how old everyone thinks they look, they weep, and then they get a new haircut and veneers on their teeth?



I feel like that. But there's not a haircut or any amount of cosmetic dentistry that could make me feel younger.

Yesterday was kind of like some weird time warp situation. It was awesome, because we got to hang out with some old friends, but it was pretty odd too. Nate and I had lunch with a friend of his, who Nate hadn't seen in a while, but they used to be BEST friends and hang out all the time. We sat down at the table, and Nate pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Did you get a new phone?" his friend asked.
"Oh," Nate said looking over it. "Not exactly. We downgraded."
"Why?!" his friend asked.

Apparently (I was looking down at my menu), Nate made a motion for money by rubbing his fingers together... but all I saw were fingers waving in my general direction, so I yelled, "It's not just me!!" So that's a good way to start a meal.

Andi told us about how he's dealing poker and playing video games and watching TV... and that's it. And that he's considering trying to get on as a dealer on the World Series of poker tour. And that he has about 5x our mortgage payment saved up to go to gamble in Vegas. I kiiiiiiind of wanted to put my hands over Nate's ears and say, "Andi! Stop talking about your bachelor's paradise life!" But I'd never do that, and Andi's a sweetheart.

BUT... as soon as we got in the car, I jumped Nate with questions. "So do you want to go be a dealer on the World Series of Poker tour?"

"Um... we're having a baby?" Nate said. "So no..." (He seems to operate much better in the literal or the extremely abstract like 'what if you were Spiderman' but not so well in the in-between.

So then we went a did old people things, like looking at carpet and blinds.

THEN, time warp part two. We went to a baseball game with a bunch of our friends from high school to celebrate one of them being back from the Navy. It was so awesome to see everyone, but it was also really weird. The sister of the guy who was coming back went with Nate to prom the year before we started dating, and the brother of the guy I totally had a thing for around the same time, so that's a good, awkward start. Plus when we actually used to hang out with them, Nate and I were both SUCH different people. Nate was carefree and irresponsible, and I was the "let's go do something crazy" girl. Now as everyone is deciding if they want to start the game with a beer or margarita, I'm trying to decide if it would be more polite to hit people with my butt or my baby belly as I wedge myself down the aisle.

As I did wedge myself down the aisle, I thought about saying to the cute girls in the tube dresses, "I used to wear dresses like that." I'm not sure why I was obsessed with how cute they looked, because surely they were not obsessing over my two-in-one khaki mom shorts/tent combo, but I was.

For some reason, the part that made me feel most old is when the guy that I used to have a thing for showed Nate and I a picture of his latest purchase: an over-sized shower head that strobes nine different colors of light. NINE DIFFERENT COLORS. And as Nate laughed and kept talking to him, I thought to myself, I will never have a strobe light shower head. I'm an old woman, and even if I had a strobe shower head it would just mean Nate yelling to me in the morning, "Hey! You left the strobe on in the bathroom again!" Plus our house has a really small bathroom and it would probably only increase risk of seizure or injury.

As we left, Nate held my hand.

"Did today make you feel old?" I asked.
"Everyone grows up at different times," he said.

Indeed. Indeed they do.