Is Your Mom Disappointed?

Yesterday, my mom brought my friend a cake at our workplace for her birthday. See below.



Whenever my mom bakes something for people unfamiliar with her baking, it gets oohs and ahhs, lots of questions, and inevitably "this is too pretty to eat!"

I also usually field the following questions:
"Did she pass her baking skills on?" or "Do you like to bake to?" (No and no.)

Which sometimes results in my least favorite question that people ask:
"No? Is she disappointed?"

I invariably got asked this question yesterday. Luckily, it was from a sympathizer, who wanted to tell me about her torturous pre-teen years canning tomatoes with her step-mom to prepare her for wifedom, but I still don't like getting that question.

I usually say, "No, she's not disappointed. We get along great, but we have very different strengths and hobbies."

And I really don't think my lacking domesticity bothers my mom. Well, it might bother her. One time last winter my car wouldn't start, and there was a -20 windchill. When she showed up and we were waiting for a tow-truck, she asked if we could clean out the back to my car. The answer was no... but I've never felt like my mom was "disappointed" that my house is generally messy, my cooking is generally subpar, and I'd rather poke sewing needles in my eyes than use them to whip up some home-sewn craft.

If anything, I'M disappointed. A lot of my childhood memories revolve around these things, so I kind of felt most of my semi-adult life that before I had children, I would have to learn to cook, clean, sew, bake, do laundry beyond throwing any and all dirty clothes in the washer and dumping some detergent in... but it quickly became apparent to me that would probably never happen.

And please don't say, "Oh, I never wanted to do those things when I was younger either! You'll get better!" That's SORT OF true. I can make crockpot meals now, because it's cheaper than Chinese take-out. But will you ever hear me say, "I just found a new recipe I can't wait to try!" No. And if you do, I'm mocking my mother.

But when I really think back on growing up, it wasn't because she cooked or baked or sewed that she was the best mom... It was because she took care of me. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And that, in whatever form it may take, I can do for my children.

I hope that they never have to field a question like, "Oh, you hate writing? Is your mom disappointed?" or "You're not a good student? Is your mom disappointed?"

But if they do get asked those questions, I hope they can respond with confidence in the same way I do, knowing that their parents love them, acknowledge their unique skills and abilities, and could not be disappointed by them.